Break Into DC Comics (By Killing Harley Quinn)!

By September 9, 2013
  531

Yeeeeeah…

With the almost hiring of vocal homophobe Orson Scott Card to pen a Superman comic, the departure of J.H. Williams III and W. Haden Blackman after DC’s refusal to allow Batwoman to marry her longtime companion Maggie Sawyer, AND this latest stunt of stupidity, it seems as of late Detective Comics (aka DC) has found new and interesting ways to shove their proverbial head even further up their own butt.

harleyquinn

In order to get some interest swirling around the upcoming Harley Quinn series coming out this November, DC has launched the DC Entertainment’s Open Talent Search, where one lucky artist will get the opportunity to draw one page (page 15, to be exact) of Harley Quinn #0 with vets Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner writing.

While this seems AWESOME in theory, there’s one catch…well, FOUR catches: you gotta kill her AND she’s gotta be naked.

Don’t believe me?

Check out the description from the official rules:

PAGE 15 – 4 panels

PANEL 1
Harley is on top of a building, holding a large DETACHED cellphone tower in her hands as lightning is striking just about everywhere except her tower. She is looking at us like she cannot believe what she is doing. Beside herself. Not happy.

PANEL 2
Harley is sitting in an alligator pond, on a little island with a suit of raw chicken on, rolling her eyes like once again, she cannot believe where she has found herself. We see the alligators ignoring her.

PANEL 3
Harley is sitting in an open whale mouth, tickling the inside of the whale’s mouth with a feather. She is ecstatic and happy, like this is the most fun ever.

PANEL 4
Harley sitting naked in a bathtub with toasters, blow dryers, blenders, appliances all dangling above the bathtub and she has a cord that will release them all. We are watching the moment before the inevitable death. Her expression is one of “oh well, guess that’s it for me” and she has resigned herself to the moment that is going to happen.

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Okay, I GET that due to her love (obsession) with The Joker, Harley’s always been a little off and therefore does crazy things but C’MOOOOOOOON. We’re getting a villainess in her own monthly title (again) and THIS is what’s gonna happen right out of the gate? It’s been years since Harley’s had her own comic book and I’d hate to see it go the way of the dodo (again).

I just wish I knew the context of these four panels because to be quite honest, if I roll my eyes any harder, I’m gonna detach a retina.

Come on, DC: I LOVE Superman and I LOVE Batman – “The Killing Joke” is my favorite book, hands down – but right now, I’m not loving YOU so much. Quit jerking around and make me wanna love you again…because at this point, I’m so #TeamMarvel it’s insane.

Discuss.

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Cricket Lee
Star Wars fangirl. Named Best Kisser by Time Magazine. CEO/Host: Girl Gamer; host of Gecken: GeekNation; writer: Dread Central. You'll have a crush on me soon. Vote Quimby. Twitter: @crixlee http://www.imdb.me/crixlee