Well, they certainly made up for having a Tyrion-free episode last week, huh? This episode was full of Tyrion and that’s always a good thing. But first things first…a Stannis opener. WHY? Am I the only one who just wants Stannis to give up already? Oy.
Stannis and Davos sail to Braavos, where we get our first glimpse of the Iron Bank. Stannis requests money to fund his quest for the throne, saying when he’s in charge he’ll pay the bank back. The Iron Bank’s all like, “Nah!” Then Davos makes the case for his boss, using his cut off finger as proof that Stannis always pays his debts.
And it worked! I definitely think we can all agree that Davos would make a far superior king than Stannis ever would, but I get the feeling in Westeros, the people advising the kings are really the ones running the show.
But enough boring bank stuff, DRAGONS!
After an amazing sequence showing some poor little goats become dragon BBQ fare, we see Daenerys sitting on her throne doing boring queenly duties. First up…the owner of the charred goats. Dany repays him three times over their value. Next up, a little bit of an awkward request from the son of one of the masters she had crucified. Of course he was the one Master who had been against the killing of the slave children…oopsie! Dany agrees to allow the man to give his father a proper burial. 200 more requests to go. That’s our Dany scene this week. The boring side of leadership.
Meanwhile, Yara receives Theon’s you-know-what in a box and goes to save him. Yara and her men infiltrate the castle, finding Theon in a cage next to dogs. Only problem is, Reek insists he’s not Theon and doesn’t wanna go with his sis. Ramsay comes down all bloody and crazy. A fight ensues! Reek escapes… his sister’s clutches, NO REEK, NO!! The hounds are released! Yara and her men retreat to the boats — alone. When someone asks where Theon is, Yara responds “My brother’s dead.” Oh man, Theon…do you ever make the right call?
Reek is rewarded for his loyalty with a bath. Am I the only one who freaked out the whole time that there was something in the bath? I cringed when Reek undressed and will be forever grateful that we didn’t get to see what was under Reek’s towel. Reek apprehensively entered the bath, which seemed ok. He flinched when Ramsay grabbed a rag to wash him. I had chills the whole time and not good chills. Then this grossness:
And the evil bath conclusion: Ramsay needs Reek to pretend to be “someone you’re not: Theon Greyjoy.” Oof. Can we go back to Jaime/Brienne bath scenes, please?
Back at King’s Landing the council is having a boring meeting. Conclusion of this scene? Oberyn is hilarious.
Then, it’s time for Tyrion’s so-called trial to begin!
It’s a real ‘who’s who’ of King’s Landing on the witness stand, lying their asses off about Tyrion. I guess technically Cersei is just embellishing Joffrey’s memory, but still, everything points to a guilty verdict. A recess in the takedown err….I mean trial of Tyrion, is called. Jaime uses the opportunity to save his brother by offering to produce a Lannister heir in exchange for Tywin sparing brother’s life. Tywin agrees immediately, leading us all to think he was once again pulling some strings. I hate when people I hate are so freakin’ clever. But the best laid plans, as they say…
Jaime tells Tyrion the plan and Tyrion seems to agree to go along with it despite some misgivings, but then we see the final witness, Shae. Ouch. The look on Tyrion’s face says it all.
Shae gives embarrassing details about their love life in an emotionless voice, but Tyrion is full of emotion watching her betray him. She says that he and Sansa planned and executed the murder. That’s when Tyrion lets loose and it was a glorious, Emmy reel-worthy performance from Peter Dinklage. WOW.
HE GOES OFF. Even on the townspeople, “I saved you. I saved this city and all your worthless lives. I should’ve let Stannis kill you all.” YES! My other favorite quote was directed at a wineless Cersei “Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores!” YES, YES! Then Tyrion DROPS THE MIC.
BOOM. Jaime’s face after Tyrion’s confession was priceless. I loved every second of it, but he definitely made his brother look a bit chumpy. I’m sure they’ll both laugh about it some day!
What did you think of this week’s episode? Let us know in the comments!
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