Last week, something pretty damn amazing happened. Mark Wahlberg got hammered and went on The Graham Norton Show. In that hour, Marky Mark got pretty funky, so to speak. Now being dubbed as “Drunk Walberg”, the appearance on the show has him flirting with Sarah Silverman, boasting about his kid’s knack for punching people (The Rock) in the balls and he even challenged Michael Fassbender to a “big dick contest”.
Seriously, take a moment and view the magnificence below…
Hmm…what other amazing drunk celebrity antics are available for us to watch with judgmental eyes while we point and laugh (for shame!)? Well, I’m glad you asked.
BEHOLD, A LIST!
In the late 70s, Orson Welles was the spokesperson for The Paul Masson Winery. Now known as The Mountain Winery, this ad campaign was made famous for Mr. Welles’ line “We will sell no wine before its time.” This video is a collection of outtakes during the shoot of one of these commercials and as you can see, Orson is blasted!
Oliver Reed was a British actor who made quite the name for himself in both on screen tough guy roles and his off screen antics. The dude was a serious SERIOUS drinker, a hardcore alcoholic really. The video below finds him three sheets to the wind on The Late Show With David Letterman. Go ahead, search around online. There is an abundance of Oliver Reed drunk videos to sift through.
In the late 80s, the Godfather Of Soul had his fair share of problems. Arrested, addicted to all sorts of drugs, on trial and ultimately imprisoned, this video interview shows you what NOT to do when being a guest on a live TV news show. Don’t do drugs, kids.
Come on. We’ve all seen this video by now, but it’s still a classic. First off, I feel kinda sorry for The Hoff here, shirtless, sloppily destroying a burger on the floor. But then again, if I was his child, I’d have probably picked up a camera to catch the moment too!
In 2009, Kanye West went to The MTV Video Music Awards drunk and either upset or amused you when he interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech. We’ve all seen the video that begins with his “Ima let you finish” statement so I will not post it here. Instead, here’s a video of Hitler’s reaction to the event. You’re welcome.
Kiefer Sutherland is a mad man who likes to drink.
I don’t fault him. A man must let off a ton of steam in between saving the world as Jack Bauer. This video is roughly 6 years old. Featured on a documentary for his band, Kiefer decides to show someone off camera how much of a pirate he is by tackling an unsuspecting Christmas tree. I’d point and laugh but that’s Motherfucking Jack Bauer! No one puts Jack Bauer in the corner.
Oh, Paula Abdul. What are we going to do with you? You say you’ve never been drunk before and then get sloppy all over television! Mind you, these videos are a tad old so here’s hoping she got with the program. But still, I’m a bit happy this footage exists. How else would we have gotten through the likes of American Idol and QVC without them? Now who wants to bet when Abdul gets shit-faced, she reunites with MC Skat Cat? Every time, I bet. Every time.
I’m going to go on record and state I am happy Steve-O got clean and sober. Things got very scary for the Jackass dude. However, if you are going to be trashed on a talk show, I think there’s no better show to trash while trashed than the trash that was Too Late With Adam Carolla. No disrespect…?
We are currently in the midst of Awards Season and Ben Affleck has garnered (heh Garner, get it?) many well deserved accolades for his directing work on Argo. Let’s take a little trip back in time, now, shall we? Around the time Affleck and JLo separated, dude was single and quite ready to mingle. So ready in fact, he got a little wasted and proceeded to get rather close with Anne-Marie Losique. While nothing too weird happens, it still makes me a little uncomfortable to watch.
Finally, we have a video favorite here. While it is stated that Tom Waits was not actually drunk during the taping of this episode of Fernwood Tonight, in the 70s he was known for his alcohol consumption. The fake talk show lasted only three months and this is probably one of the best highlights to come out of the short lived show. I believe Mr. Waits put it best by saying, “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!”
If nothing else, this compilation of drunk stars has given me the unshakeable urge to break out the scotch. So as I pour myself a cocktail or three, go ahead and share some other drunk celebrity train wrecks in the comments below…IF YOU DARE!
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