Pass The Effin’ Remote Blog: Bloody Face Vs. Leopard Face

By October 25, 2012
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Hey all you em effers! We’re less than a week away from the most wonderful time of the year. And much like our most recent episode of Pass The Effin’ Remote, I feel it is my duty to cover the spooky goods we were unable to fit into our show. So let’s get to it, shall we!?

Motherfucking American Horror Story: Asylum! Holy crap! Seriously. I’m typing this and the excitement about this week’s episode is making me so bouncy, the ability to communicate English into text is becoming a bit straining. First aliens, then creepy nuns, and now exorcisms! Maybe it’s just me, but there’s something about demonic possession movies that comfort me. I love that shit. It may be due to my babysitter forcing me to watch The Exorcist when I was 6, but who knows? I suppose I’ll sort that out with my therapist.

I have to give Ryan Murphy and Co. credit yet again. While I’ve completely written off Glee, it seems they still have tricks galore up their sleeves and this week’s American Horror Story did a few things I’ve never witnessed on basic cable. I won’t spoil anything else for you if you’re not caught up.

Oh, and I still think Bloody Face is a stupid name for a killer.

But you know what’s even more stupid? Leopard face here.

This is Cece Frey from this Season of The X Factor. And yes, like I said in my previous Pass The Effin’ Remote Blog post, I do indeed watch The X Factor.

So, yeah. It’s a consensus in my household that Leopard Face up there sucks. And who gets picked to be in Demi Lovato’s final four!? Yeah, that chick who thinks it’s a great idea to paint leopard spots on her damn face. We hate her even more that she can actually sing.

 

God, I hate her. Thank you, Fox for turning me into a catty bitch.

Oh and while I’m on a catty streak, let me say a few words about this week’s episode of Supernatural.

What. The. Fuck.

I pride myself on my weekly tradition of watching Sam and Dean bust up demons and Mayan Gods as much as the next Midwestern house wife, but I have a bone to pick here. Found footage? Really? That sad excuse for a horror sub-genre has gotten tired and old rather fast….much like Gangnam Style (I’ll get back to that in a second).

So this week’s episode of Supernatural, entitled “Bitten” was a sad excuse for a filler episode presented in the style of found footage. And much like my issues with the Paranormal Activity movies, this episode failed to suspend any disbelief whatsoever. There were so many continuity issues, I wanted to pee on my TV in protest. I found myself waiting the entire episode so I can see every one of these douche bags die. Werewolves? Really? I’d rather watch fucking Teen Wolf, for crying out loud!

And the writing! THE WRITING! Oh man, it fucking blew. Mr. Kripke, what the hell were you smoking?

But you know what’s worse than this episode of Supernatural? Gangnam Style.

I’m seriously over it. Congrats to Psy for all the success he’s received for his breakout hit, but as soon as this Jay Leno video hit the internet, I knew it was time to bury the beaten and dead horse.

 

And then, somehow I caught a glimpse of this train wreck on TV and it further made me want to run face first into a wall over and over again.

 

But thankfully, the geniuses at South Park Studios provided a much needed chaser to all this misery. Seriously, their joke about Gangnam Style is enough of a reason to watch. But their riff on The Shining makes this one of the best episode ever!

You can watch the entire “A Nightmare On Face Time” episode right here!

It’s time I bring this blog post to a close, but before I sign off, I wanted to highlight two different Halloween specials from TV’s past. I have a bone to pick with both of these.

First, there’s the two part episode of Punky Brewster entitled ‘The Perils Of Punky”. Am I the only one here who remembers this episode? Not only is it far fetched and paints Henry and Mrs. Johnson as horrible parental figures allowing their kids to go venture out into the woods all by themselves, but….BUT…also….GIANT FUCKING SPIDER!

 

Boy oh boy, I really do feel sorry for that dog.

 

But what’s worse than this episode of Punky Brewster? How about the one hour long train wreck of a TV event known as The Paul Lynde Halloween Special!?

This is what Halloween Specials looked like in the 70s. Yikes.

 

And finally, I suppose I shall make the Official Announcement now! On the upcoming Pass The Effin’ Remote Halloween Episode, we’ll be joined by some of these lovely folks below.

Stay tuned. I promise it’ll be better than Halloween TV Specials from the 70s.

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Aside from throwing words onto your screen here, he has written for the likes of FEARnet, Examiner, Dread Central and MTV Movies Blog. And yes, he was Percy on VR Troopers.