Tomorrow Syfy airs its fourth and final film out of their most current batch of original crapsterpieces. What ‘roid raging animal will it star this time? It’s Bigfoot! June turned into a fantastic garbage-fest thanks to Syfy. Everyone knows Syfy films are really bad…but they’re hella fun to watch! The channel released a film each Saturday all month starting with Jersey Shore: Shark Attack, followed by Piranhaconda, then Arachnoquake, and now Bigfoot.
The plot is, as always, very simple. Bigfoot is about Bigfoot running around and stomping on people. Occasionally he takes a break from stomping to tear someone in half, but stomping is really all he knows how to do. The great thing about this film that raises it above Arachnoquake is that it stars ‘70s icons Danny Bonaduce (The Partridge Family) and Barry Williams (The Brady Bunch) as onscreen rivals, where one is trying to save Bigfoot and the other is trying to kill him. Alice Cooper also makes a guest appearance where he (spoiler alert) gets kicked to death by Bigfoot.
Bigfoot is another winner from Syfy, placing second on my list out of the four films. It’s full of campy fun raised to a level of ludicrousness with the terrible CGI added in – CG that’s bad even for Syfy, which is saying something. Not only does Bigfoot look silly, but when he runs, it’s like he’s running in place because he doesn’t move forward. I can’t explain the depths of the awfulness, so just make sure you tune in to Syfy Saturday, June 30, at 9/8c, then come back and let me know if that isn’t the worst CGI you’ve ever seen.
This is the Action Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!
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