‘True Blood’ Recap: Episode 3: You’re No Good

By July 1, 2013
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“True Blood”! I’m seriously starting a White House petition to turn “True Blood” into The Eric Northman Show. Obviously Lafayette will be allowed on. Actually, can those two just get past their differences and team up in some way? Just because someone tortured you once doesn’t mean you can’t be their sidekick, am I right? Anyway, let’s break it down, shall we?

Starts off with an excellent Eric Northman scene. He seduces the Governor’s daughter, Willa. She’s down with it because duh, Eric Northman.

Before he kills her she reveals some secret experiments, so Eric wisely sees her value and decides to kidnap her. Just in the nick of time too! Because some Governor henchman are on their way to the room. Too late, suckas!

Then a few boring things happen. Bill tells Jessica she was one of the vamps burning, Jason collapses again and Sookie finds out that Warlow wants her so bad because she has royal fairy blood. Oh vey, with the fairy stuff! Maybe it’s because my 3-year-old makes me watch a Tinkerbell movie with her 3 times a week, but I am so friggin’ over fairies!

Eric shows up at Fangtasia with Willa, who Pam immediately wants to kill. Eric convinces her of Willa’s value though.

Meanwhile, Lafayette and Sam are waking up after their werewolf fight. Lafayette warns Sam about Nicole, and he also awesomely tells Sam that he will always be there to help him, as Sam has always been good to him. Feels!

Then another great Eric scene! Ginger is back! She thinks Eric is there for some nookie, but soon Willa, Pam and Tara are also invited in. Then a dialogue we all hope to have with Eric one day:



ON THIS OCCASION! Which means there will be a future occasion!

Bill tests his theory that he is good to go in the sun. He ain’t.


Then a whole lot of ‘meh’ things happened. Niall finds evidence of a fairy slaughter, Sookie and Jason discuss concussions but still don’t pick up on the fact that Jason needs to maybe go to the hospital, Andy and Holly reunite, the cops come to the werewolf enclave looking for Emma, and more Andy and Holly.

All the boring was worth it for the next Eric Northman scene though! Sweetest coffin scene ever! Willa tries to get with Eric, Eric bleeds, Willa takes the blood on her finger and tries to lick it. THEN THIS:


EPISODE SAVED! Any time Eric is shown licking something off of his finger makes for a good episode of “True Blood.”

Then we have a Ben and Niall scene, but all we really want to do is go back to Eric licking his finger thing. CONFESSION: I actually did watch it again a few times.

Bill is plotting, and has Jessica go get the professor who created True Blood. He had a good plan to make it happen too.


Then another good scene– Steve and Sarah Newlin are back! Only this time she’s the one in charge and it’s good thing. FINALLY a non-Eric Northman storyline I’m interested in! Although I’m sure he’ll be involved in it soon, which will only make it better.

Bill hits up Sookie’s and they have an epic blow-out after he requests some of her blood. Line of the night? “You’re not god, Bill. You’re just an asshole.” And this happened:


Then some less boring werewolf action! The Vampire Unity Society are pretty much slaughtered helping Sam save Emma. At least Emma was saved?

But let’s get to another awesome Eric scene!! The Governor calls Eric and Ginger answers! THIS:




Only Eric can say something so mean and have it almost be sweet. Eric realizes the call has been traced and he high-tails every one out of there! AND Tara takes Willa!

Next up a scene that is practically begging us to suspect Ben is Warlow. Sookie is curious about how she can feel Ben reading her thoughts and vice versa. Hmmm, interesting. Also Jason collapses again.

AND we finally realize the purpose of Andy’s progeny! To fulfill Bill’s need for fairy blood!

Also I came across this pic of the hot Skarsgard clan:

WHAT IS IN STELLAN’S GENES!?!

What did you think of this episode? Let me know in the comments!

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Desi Jedeikin

Desi Jedeikin

Desi Jedeikin is a Los Angeles based writer and performer. She has appeared in numerous sketch comedy/improv shows at venues in L.A., including the Groundlings Theater, Comedy Central Stage, and the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, where she played Squeaky Fromme in the infamous alternative comedy show Comedy Death Ray. Unfinished projects include a memoir and a musical based on the life and death of JonBenet Ramsey. She has lots of other brilliant ideas she might complete. She really just needs more encouragement. You can follow Desi on Twitter: @Desijedeikin Here: truecrimejunkie.com And here too: xoJane.com She likes being followed.