So there were some pretty good moments this episode, but I’m still not 100% feeling it this season and we’re already on episode 4! Shouldn’t we be feeling it more at this point? I mean I definitely remember liking this show for more than just shirtless dude eye candy. But let’s get to it, shall we? Because there was a lot of shirtless dude eye candy!
We start where we left off last week. Jason is down and Sookie is calling 911. When Ben finds himself alone with Jason this happens:
Yup. We all knew it. But we shouldn’t feel too damn proud of ourselves because it was so friggin’ DUH! Nora tells Niall that only Warlow can kill Lilith. I’m guessing this will be important information at some point. (Clearly I’m Sherlock-ian.) Also, he rocks a look that would make Phil Spector jealous:
Then some boring werewolf stuff happened and I got sad remembering the days when I loved Alcide.
Ginger is detained by the Governor and Eric gets Tara to tell him where Willow is.
The Bellefleur Four are now all obnoxious teens, so naturally they steal their dad’s car and go to buy cheap beer. Jessica and Bill follow them to the convenience store and then Jessica goes in, glamours the clerk and gets the girls to load up into Bill’s pedo party van. Luckily they’ll be safe with her around, because this is not foreshadowing AT ALL:
Back at the Stackhouse House, Sookie is becoming suspicious of Jason’s remarkable recovery. Not only does she find him looking incredibly hot:
She finds some of that beautiful blood. WARLOW!! The worst part is Jason has a Warlow sex dream. And by ‘worst part’ I mean hubba hubba yowza:
Okay, I finally get that shaving fetish thing. Apparently so does Jason because he wakes up aroused. We know this because Jason actually looks under the sheet at his boner. True Blood at its subtle best.
Back at Bill’s, Bill gets some fairy blood and brings it to the professor to synthesize.
Then the scene that made the WHOLE DAMN SHOW. Naturally, it involves Eric Northman. He finds Willow waiting for him and he carries her to a grave where he will turn her. She asks him if it will hurt. He says “Not the way I do it.” Every women watching collapses on their fainting couch.
After I inhale some smelling salts to regain consciousness, I see that we are back with the wolf pack AKA a storyline so boring even Lafayette can’t save it. Dear “True Blood” writers: Make the wolf pack/Sam thing go away. There can be no payoff that will ever make this boringness worth it. Thank you. PS – keep up the good work finding reasons for Eric to take his shirt off!
Sookie invites Warlow to dinner, at the same time Niall and Jason are also making the connection that Ben is Warlow. Of course they go to kill him and fail miserably. Warlow lets Jason go, but drains Niall of his blood and spits it into a tub. I’m guessing there’s a reason for this that will come out at some point.
Sookie cooks up some Southern Fried Silver for her date with Warlow and Bill finds out that his captive professor can’t replicate the fairy blood.
Poor Willow! Like any girl would, she excitedly asks Eric if they should EFF. Eric sends Willow back to her father. We are all disappointed there will be no Eric sex scene. No one more than Willow though. (Except maybe me.)
She goes to her father, who seems conflicted. Sarah Newlin, his looooovaaah, not so conflicted. She shoots Willow and ships her off to the vampire prison camp. With Pam. Eric Northman prison ambush in 3,2,1…
Warlow banishes Niall to another dimension before going to his dinner date with Sookie. The silver plan doesn’t work so Sookie goes to plan b…sexy times.
The Bellefleur Four are growing antsy at Casa Billith, as Andy and Jason search for them. Andy remembers a conversation he had with Bill and rushes to Bill’s. Unfortunately, Jessica couldn’t resist that delicious fairy blood and may have slayed them all. Oopsie.
Then back to that sexy Warlow/Sookie nookie and just when I was worried she had fallen for his schtick she says this: “Get the eff off me or die, Warlow.”
A glimmer of hope that this season might finally be getting somewhere!
What do you think of True Blood this season? Let us know in the comments!
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