Okay! Finally we’re getting somewhere! Lots of good stuff this week! Very minimal non-vampire story lines plus some Jason Stackhouse sexy times equals yay!
We start where we left off last week, Sookie has Warlow by his fairy balls. But hold up! Warlow says he loves her and I believed it! Then Sookie’s all like “Well, why did you kill my parents?” BURN!
Meanwhile at Casa Bilith, Jessica kisses Bill! Oh yeah and mourns the teen fae (faes?) she slaughtered.
Back at the Stackhouse house, Warlow drops this little bomb: He killed Soookie’s parents because they were going to kill her. DOUBLE BURN! Sookie punches him with her fae light and Bill feels it. He quickly arrives at the Stackhouse house and commands Warlow to come with him. As his maker. Yup.
Eric and Tara devise a plan to save Pam: surrendering themselves to the Vamp Camp and the horrors that lie within. Which includes vamp sex experiments and things that are actually not as cool as that.
The Governor and Sarah Newlin are having a little lover’s tiff. I’m thinking that happens after you have your BF’s vampire daughter arrested. She says she wants to have his baby and is dressed in her best baby-making lingerie. But the governor ain’t having it. Then this line that I’m so cross-stitching on a pillow:
Back at Casa Bilith, Bill explains to Warlow how he is able to command him maker-style. Which leads us into a FLASHBACK! 3500 BC to be exact.
Warlow talks to Niall’s mama! Then he walks to get water and Lilith shows up naked, of course. Because why not? She turns Warlow.
Next up, clearly not wanting to let her Victoria’s Secret purchase go to waste, Sarah shows up at Jason Stackhouse’s house. They rehash their doomed former love affair and Sarah pretends she feels guilty about abandoning her efforts to save Jason, but we all know she’s really just horny, because she says this “Jason Stackhouse, I’ve never felt more holy than when I was with you. And I truly believe God wants me to f— you.” Henceforth known as the greatest pick-up line ever. Then they do it. We all rejoice!
Then some boring Sam stuff and Andy attempts to save a fae! But back to the Stackhouse house. Jessica shows up! Sarah calls her a demon whore! Cat Fight!
Then the greatest line of the night:
Back at Vamp Camp, Eric participates in some kind of ranking system…naturally he’s number one. He then continues his unsuccessful search for Pam.
But we all know where Pam is…she’s in therapy!
Pam plays the game and seems to give the therapist what he wants. Naturally getting a few digs in:
Sookie shows up ate Merlotte’s. Some Lafayette brilliance:
Yup! She wants him to help her contact her dead parents. I’m sure nothing will go wrong with that plan. Mmmhmm.
Then we see Terry ask a marine friend to kill him. How about he just kills this storyline and the werewolf/shifter one? Sounds good to me!
Speaking of boring story lines some Sam stuff happens. And a little Andy/Holly/Fae, which I’ll accept since it’s vamp related.
Back in therapy Pam is rewarded for cooperating by getting a human to feed on. Then she tries to convince the therapist that she has no attachment to Eric. Which we all know is impossible for any human not to have.
Sookie contacts her parents. Turns out they were trying to kill her and her dad enters Lafayette and kidnaps Sookie to try and kill her again.
Back to 3500 BC, where we see Warlow kill Lilith! Good guy or bad guy? It’s so confusing!
Back at Vamp Camp, Eric is called into the white room again. Uh oh! Pam is there too. Both have stakes. I’m guessing they didn’t belive Pam when she said she had no feelings for Eric. Then this:
And this Sarah Newlin line: “Haven’t you seen Gladiator? F—in’ fight!”
And we end on Sookie being drowned by Lafayette/Daddy.
What did you think of this week’s episode? Getting good for you too?
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