So this episode had something I loved even more than seeing a shirtless Eric blood-crying on my front doorstep…the wolfpack storyline left! Okay, maybe not more than the Eric thingie but close! But do I still care about this show? Am I just going through the motions like I did for every episode of Heroes after season one? Enough show doubt! It’s time to recap!
First up we start where we left off, Eric is still mourning the loss of his sister, when Bill shows up in full on d-bag mode. He asks for Eric’s help in securing Warlow in order to save the vampires. Then Eric and Bill have a classic Bric (Beric?) fight that ends with a levitating smartass Eric being slammed to the floor by Bill before he runs super-vampire-fast out of there. Also this happened:
Over at the werewolf den, Alcide is challenged by Rikki to be packmaster. Everyone laughs their asses off, and then the werewolf storyline is mercifully put out of its misery. Yay!
At Vamp Camp we see Jason and his new “owner,” Violet, who had no problem ignoring Tara’s warning.
She informs everyone that Jason is hers forever and ever. She’s like the vampire version of the overly-attached girlfriend meme. Also she doesn’t share because she’s um…Catholic? Okay. A vampire with religious convictions. That’s a new one.
Meanwhile in fairy world, Sookie tries to convince Warlow to help Bill save the vamps. Warlow says that he’ll do it IF Sookie agrees to be his bride. Seeing how good Warlow looked this episode, I’d say that’s what you’d call a win/win situation. Eric is seen lurking in the shadows, proving that you can be creepy and hot at the same time.
Speaking of creepy, this happened:
Then we have a brief scene of Sam and Alcide making up. Yay…I guess. Also Sam and Alcide smelled that Nicole was pregnant with Sam’s baby, which was honestly one of the creepiest things ever on the show. If only he had listened to Arlene way back when!
Back at Vamp Camp, they’re distributing the tainted Tru Blood to the inmates. Luckily, James is there to warn Steve Newlin not to drink it. Pam tries to save Jason from Violet and Violet actually tells Pam to eff off. PAM! Bravo, Violet – that’s a crazy big pair you’ve got. Then she proceeds to feed off of Jason. He asks her not to rape him. Sad face. She says she won’t, but they will one day “do it” after he earns it. Whoa. I kind of like Violet. Make him beg for it, girl!
We get a smidge of Lafayette at the Bellefleur house cooking breakfast for Arlene and the crew. By the way, that is not nearly enough Lafayette, “True Blood” writers.
Bill gives Sookie the lowdown on his plan. He will let the captured vamps feed off of Warlow’s blood so that they will be safe when they are shoved in the sun chamber. Sookie tells Bill that Warlow will only agree to help them if Sookie becomes his bride. Bill’s like ‘And?’ Sookie is Sookie and gets all pissy before storming off. She is so the annoying ex-girlfriend.
Back at Vamp Camp, Sarah Newlin is on wheels again! And Steve Newlin is on a giant hamster wheel as Sarah tries to break him into confessing why he isn’t drinking the Tru Blood. Line of the night “It is scientifically impossible for you to be this F*@#KING SLOW!” Naturally he confesses, because Steve Newlin, Duh.
Then Sookie goes to Sam and tells him that she always thought they’d be together. Oy vey, Sookie. You are becoming so friggin’ unlikable. “Put your ball away,” Sam retorts. Something I think we’ve all said at some point in our lives. I know I’ve said it at least 3 times.
Then we see Terry’s funeral. Gotta love Arlene’s reaction to Terry’s family insisting on a 21 gun salute for a man who was shot to death. Arlene is still determined to find Terry’s killer and bring him to justice. “JUST TAKE THE INSURANCE MONEY, ARLENE!” we all scream, mostly because we just want the Terry storyline to be dead once and for all. Sorry, Terry.
Sookie goes to her parents’ graves and tells them to basically eff off saying she’d rather spend eternity as Warlow’s bride then be dead and buried next to them. Ummm, why is she acting like this is a huge sacrifice?
Back at Vamp Camp, the scene of the night. Tru Blood’s Ms. Suzuki finds out about the special ingredient that’s being added to her product and freaks out on Sarah Newlin. But Sarah Newlin totally outdoes Ms. Suzuki in the freak out department. I mean, killing someone with a stiletto is the ultimate freak out…am I right? Exhibit A:
Then we get a little classic True Blood humorous scene (Something we need WAY more of IMO). One of Holly’s sons is about to get it on with Andy’s lone fae daughter, when Eric interrupts to retrieve her.
He apologetically glamours away the young boy’s conquest and then drinks from the teen girl. Which is a much better ending than I had after my first sexual experience.
The gang at Vamp Camp were all busted by the guards for not drinking Tru Blood and thrown into the pit with Steve and James. Jessica informs them that they’re all gonna be fried. Awkward.
Bill and Sookie go to Warlow and find him drained. OH SNAP! ERIC!?!
What did you think of this episode? Is Warlow dead? Do you care anymore?
Latest posts by Desi Jedeikin (see all)
- ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 4 Episode 10 Recap: “The Children” - June 16, 2014
- ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 4 Episode 9 Recap: “The Watchers on the Wall” - June 9, 2014
- ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 4 Episode 8 Recap: “The Mountain And The Viper” - June 2, 2014
- Adam McKay Probably Won’t Direct ‘Ant-Man’ - June 1, 2014
- James Mangold In Talks To Direct Biopic About Football Star Joe Namath - May 29, 2014