First let me just say this: this was my least favorite season by a long shot. I was holding out hope that the finale would redeem the nine episodes that came before, but they didn’t. Although there were a few finale worthy moments *clears throat* Ericfullfrontal, this season pretty much got the finale it deserved. So let’s plod through it shall we?
Alcide and Sookie are STILL at Terry’s funeral, when they come upon the naked vamps, frolicking in the sun. Sookie sees Eric and Violet feeding all sexily:
Love when Jason tells Sookie that Violet’s European. Jason has done a 180 and now is completely on board with human/vamp love. Sookie very maturely doesn’t say, “I told you so!”
Sookie ain’t got time for that! She has to meet up with Warlow, who is building a fairy maypole for their impending nuptials. Sookie decides she wants to take things a bit slower. Then Warlow totally smacks her upside the head and puts a choke hold on her.
As much as I’ve wanted to Sookie get smacked, that was not cool, Warlow. Also kind of not something you’d expect from a guy who only minutes before was constructing a friggin’ maypole.
Back in fairy blood vamp land, the vamps were playing volleyball…ummm okay? Pam flies off to find Eric and Bill sulks about losing his powers and Sookie’s impending vamp transition. Jessica reminds him of what a great character he was in the first few seasons. You know, before Lilith ruined him.
Bill comes up with a plan to save Sookie. He asks Jason for help in getting Andy and his fae daughter Adilyn to cooperate. They need to open the portal. It’s the only way to save Sookie.
Meanwhile at the Maypole, Sookie threatens to throw her light ball away. Warlow: “You really are a danger whore, aren’t you?” He ties Sookie up and not in a good way. Oh “True Blood”! This is the Warlow we all wanted from the beginning! An evil bastard. The Big Bad. But you kind of made me like him and now I don’t want him to be bad. So you failed at delivering the promising Warlow storyline in all ways. Sigh. Also my superhero name is totally Danger Whore.
Long story, short…Niall pops back up to help kill Warlow.
And then a moment that DVRs were made for – thank you science! When Warlow dies, so does Eric’s ability to be out in the sun. Really bad time to be sunbathing. Then we see some Northman full frontal:
Before he burns up. A bittersweet segment, indeed! There’s no way Eric’s dead, right?
Six months later…WTF? Oh “True Blood,” just when I thought you had run out of bad ideas! Bill is now a best-selling author (!?!?) and Sookie and Alcide are now a couple (!?!?).
Oh yeah, Hep V is like a big problem now. Also apparently, Violet has been making Jason give her oral sex every night for the past six months, WITH NO RECIPROCATION. Heroic or rude? Can’t decide.
Sookie and Alcide go to church…haha.
Sam is now the mayor and Arlene is now the owner of the local bar and grill. 6 MONTHS LATER! They come up with a plan that every vampire needs to be paired up with a human who is not a Hep V carrier. So Arlene hosts a mixer at her restaurant where vamps and humans can meet up. Tara and her mom had a nice scene, where Tara’s mom apologized for being a bad mom and let Tara feed off of her, which was totally sweet/creepy.
Bill offers his protection to Sookie, which makes her lovah, Alcide, feisty. Bill don’t care!
But oh snap! Rabid vamps are approaching…
This season is finally over.
But I still have hope the trashy guilty pleasure that I love will be back next season. You have the season 7 premiere to reel me back in, “True Blood.” Otherwise I quit!
What did you think of this season? Let me know in the comments!
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