Darwin Awards: Script for Final Season of Breaking Bad Stolen From Bryan Cranston’s Car By An Idiot

By March 26, 2013

If you’re gonna rob someone (which you shouldn’t), you should probably keep it to yourself ALWAYS.

Or you can be like Xavier McAfee, who bragged about it so much AND waving a piece of the stolen property in plain sight AT A BAR, he’s a pretty decent candidate for a Darwin Award in the near future.

On March 1st, Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston reported that someone had broken into his car (McAfee) while on location in the Sandia Mountain Range in New Mexico, and was now missing a shoulder bag containing an iPad and a script from the hit show inside.

Here’s where it gets dumb: McAfee (above) then went to a local bar (presumably his favorite watering hole) and loudly began to brag to his friends how he’d broken into “some car in the Sandia Mountain Range,” then (according to the informant who contacted Cranston’s staff member, Taryn Feingold) showed his friends “some type of laptop or iPad while describing how he also had a script from the Breaking Bad series.”

You can guess what happens next. Feingold contacted the Bernalillo County Sheriff’s Office, who paid a visit to Xavier McAfee this last Saturday and arrested him on suspicion of burglary.

To date, the missing script is still missing and as this IS the final season of the high-school chemistry teacher diagnosed with terminal cancer who turns to creating/dealing meth in order to provide for his family after he’s gone, WHO KNOWS what secrets said script holds.

Breaking Bad co-star Charles Baker (aka “Skinny Pete”) hopes McAfee will do the right thing and return the pilfered tome. In a statement to TMZ, Baker pleaded “You have the choice to be a better person than that. You’ve already made a choice to steal from a person who is loved by millions of people; don’t make it worse by betraying the rest of the cast and crew and fellow fans of the show.”

But seriously, stupid. Didn’t you ever see Goodfellas? Remember what happened to all them guys who ignored Jimmy The Gent’s instructions and started stupidly flashing their cash around after the Lufthansa heist?

Glad you got busted, dips**t. Now be a good boy and return the script because I can assure you, there’s inmates who worship this show and won’t exactly be your best friends if spoilers “just happen” to hit the internets. And with your 4 juvenile offenses; 9 felony arrests with 1 conviction; 11 misdemeanor arrests with 6 convictions; 3 pending felonies; a DWI and a partridge in a pear tree, I has a feeling you’re goin’ to prison, son.

The final eight episodes of Breaking Bad are set to air sometime this summer on AMC.

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Cricket Lee
Star Wars fangirl. Named Best Kisser by Time Magazine. CEO/Host: Girl Gamer; host of Gecken: GeekNation; writer: Dread Central. You'll have a crush on me soon. Vote Quimby. Twitter: @crixlee http://www.imdb.me/crixlee