OMG…last night had some moments…am I right? Let’s get started so we can get to that delicious ending, shall we?
So we start of South of the Wall, more Ygritte and Jon Snow schtick. Scenes of these two were peppered throughout the show and it was a lot of what we come to expect form these two:
So lots of light-hearted bickering until Jon lays some heavy on Ygritte. This time he gently breaks it to her that the Wildings have no chance in hell of securing any kind of victory. He doesn’t say ‘So actually, you know nothing Ygritte.” But I’m sure he was thinking it. Also we learn that Orell totally has the hots for Ygritte.
Let’s get to that completely scrumptious Robb Stark scene, okay? There was some poop talk and Frey talk and then Robb was all like ‘Get out! I wanna make time with Desi…I mean Talisa!’ This is the type of scene I’ve been writing in my head since the beginning of this show, so it was nice to finally see it. Even if it did include Talisa. There was still this:
Plus Stark-naked butt. Also Robb’s going to be a dad! And something, something, something…sorry still on this image.
Over in King’s Landing, Margaery tries to convince Sansa that she’s not stupid. HA HA HA HA! Oh Margaery! Eveyone knows that any woman with half a brain would much rather be forced to marry Tyrion over Loras.
Cut to funny Tyrion/Bronn scene, to illustrate that fact. He’s hilarious. Well Shae doesn’t find him too funny now. That scene between them was brutal. It ain’t easy being a whore in Westeros. (RIP ROS!)
Also in King’s Landing we get a juicy Joffrey/Tywin scene, one of the only times I enjoy seeing Tywin crush an opponent. This moment was hilar!
Was I the only one shocked to hear Joffrey mention Dany? I like to imagine she’s all sneaky, but I guess it’s hard to lay low when you have an army of unsullieds and MOTHER EFFIN’ DRAGONS! People are probably talking. Ravens be flying! Tywin’s all like ‘No worries.’ Mmmmm okay, Tywin.
Speaking of Dany…She’s in the city of Yunkai freeing slaves and taking gold! Oh yeah and whipping out her dragons to great effect. BE AFRAID JOFFREY! CGI money is being SPENT!
There was a Bran scene, and an ‘OH NO! Arya kidnapped by the Hound’ scene in the mix as well.
But the best scenes by far were the following three.
Okay, Theon torture. W.T.F. Two mysterious women enter the torture chamber and make all sexy time with Theon. Theon’s head said ‘It’s a trap!’ but Theon Jr. was all like ‘HEEEEY, SEXY LADIES!’ Cue ‘The Boy’ or whatever we’re calling him now. I don’t know if I can take much more of this, but at the same time I find it strangely riveting to watch. How grateful were you for that fade out?
And the two Brienne/Jaime scenes were OFF THE CHAIN! First that goodbye…aw man throat lump city. She called him Jaime! Which is also the title of my soon to be written erotic fan fiction story.
But seriously?? The bear scene? After Jaime leaves Brienne and discovers that she will probably face a horrifying fate, He goes back to save her!
And when he returns to Harrenhal, he finds her in the ring battling the hugest non-CGI bear ever with a wooden sword. I gasped when I saw this, even though I was expecting it. And then Jaime jumped in there with her!
And then we’re treated to a nail-biting escape. I was just out and out screaming at this point. All in all, an awesome episode! All of Robb Stark’s abs agree!
What did you think? Let us know in the comments, and be sure to check out our podcast recap here!
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