The Many Emotions of Kristen Stewart

By August 5, 2012
  0

The Daily Mail reports that Kristen Stewart absolutely devastated over the fallout from her affair with Snow White director Rupert Sanders. She’s even doing things like not showering and eating ice cream. How original.

Up until now Kristen Stewart has been a horribly misunderstood young woman. People call her vapid, void of emotion, and expressionless. I think she’s just misunderstood. Just because someone doesn’t wear their emotions on their sleeve, doesn’t mean they aren’t having any. I am an expert at human behavior and an empath, and have decided to translate some of Kristen’s subtle emotional expressions for those of you who need it spelled out.

Someday, I’m going to have a boyfriend and I’ll never cheat on him.

These proofs are gonna be hot. Can’t wait to see them.

Do I smell french fries?

It sure would suck if I ever cheated on Robert. People would really hate me for that. Must…stay…faithful.

I just realized that Mexican food is the same 5 ingredients served up in different, equally delicious, shapes.

It sure would suck to not be me. I have the best life.

 I can’t wait to see the proofs for these shots. I’m gonna look hot.

Did somebody fart? People are so gross. I wish I was at home.

I’m so hot. So many dudes want to get with me. Robert’s cool and all but I want to try out some other dudes. Like an older married man. That would be hot. That director guy seems like an easy get.

Well this is a fine mess I’ve gotten myself into.

 

So as you can see, it’s really your fault for not understanding.

The following two tabs change content below.