Meet Your Doom: The Great Horror Campout, Los Angeles, Ca.

By March 19, 2013

Let me preface this by saying, I am not an outdoorsy type.

The last time I successfully went camping, a raccoon jacked all of our food from the picnic table right outside of our tent. Mind you, it probably wasn’t the best idea to leave the bag of goodies for the taking…but still. I’m a light sleeper, have an irrational fear of random bugs and really appreciate the comforts of indoor plumbing. Then of course, there’s that one time when I was 11 and got sick in the mountain during a scout hike, only to get lost in the wilderness for four hours.

Like I said, I’m not outdoorsy.

So when I first heard about this new horror themed event that is coming to Los Angeles, I almost rage peed all over the computer in protest! What I’m talking about is The Great Horror Campout. For those of you out there who have yet to hear about this event, The Great Horror Campout is “a unique camping experience” from Ten Thirty One Productions (the creators of The Haunted Hayride).

Advertised as a twelve hour experience that puts campers into an immersive horror camping adventure jam packed with content, this event is to be reminiscent of ’80s slasher films. You wanna know something? I’ve seen enough ’80s Slasher films to know NOT to go camping at an event advertising an ’80s Slasher film experience!

The press release further states that campers can choose the intensity of their adventure. One can opt to stay in their four person tents if they like or venture out into the darkness. And if you come alone, you will get paired up in said tent with strangers.

The event will supply a buffet style dinner, continental breakfast, marshmallows for roasting, a Hell Hunt Reusable Bag and a wristband to identify your group, along with the tent accommodations. However, it is up to the campers to supply sleeping bags, pillows, flashlights and drinks (alcohol not permitted!)

President of Ten Thirty One Productions, Melissa Carbone commented, “Even the campers who want to stay in their tents with friends or hang at the bonfire for movies will get ruined, just not as ruined as those who think they’re tough enough for the Hell Hunt. We’re beyond excited.”

Beyond excited!? The website states that there will be ample time for sleeping. Yet, the event and scare activity will continue throughout the ENTIRE TWELVE HOURS sporadically and without warning, the campers may experience erratic interruptions during their sleep.

So really, no point in bringing a sleeping bad or pillow because really, THERE WILL BE NO SLEEPING!

If you are more adventurous during this nighttime jaunt through this historical Downtown L.A. park, you can participate in the Hell Hunt (remember that reusable bag I mentioned?). The Hell Hunt is an interactive scavenger hunt experience that will bring the campers face to face with their worst nightmares (I’m picturing clowns and spiders) in order to retrieve the items for which they are hunting.

The Hell Hunt will send campers “bathing in the blood” of a “Pope Lick” (a what now?) partaking in a sacrificial voodoo ritual, digging through road kill amongst “Beasts of Bray” (before or after dinner?) and tons more.” The press release further states the necessity to use creative thinking and problem solving skills to find the most coveted items and compete for the title of “Hell Master”. For those lucky campers who end up completing the Hell Hunt successfully, they’ll receive a “Golden Ticket” (suck it, Wonka!) to the LA Haunted Hayride good for unlimited rides during the 2013 Halloween season.

I will admit these do sound like some cool incentives for taking part in the event. However, there is one detail I’ve yet to state and that is the ticket price. For everything, including tent space, breakfast, dinner, parking, Hell Hunt and reusable bag, horror movie viewing and roasting marshmallows in the Los Angeles State Historic Park (where Spike Guy’s Choice Awards will be happening the previous week), admission is $149 per person.

“The first rule is that we can change the rules… when we want, for any reason we want, and without notice. Campers will need to be listening for the Camp Headmasters announcements for rule changes if they plan on escaping elimination from the Hell Hunt.” said Carbone.

And why don’t we also take into consideration, the event’s Official Disclaimer. During Great Horror Campout you may be forcibly handled, moved, bound, hooded, chained and subjected to simulated torture by our actors. You may witness strong verbal content, which may be considered offensive in nature. This content is part of the experience and is presented for entertainment purposes only.

Handled? Hooded and chained?? Subjected to simulated torture?! Damn, I know of some establishments that supply such treatment for way less than $149! Yep. I’m out! You can all go have fun running around (there’s no running allowed) this popular Downtown Los Angeles park (concert venue).

For those of you still interested, the event happens June 7th & 8th and tickets are on sale here.

Me? I’ll just be the Randy Meeks in this scenario and sit on the sidelines while you all go to meet your doom.

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Aside from throwing words onto your screen here, he has written for the likes of FEARnet, Examiner, Dread Central and MTV Movies Blog. And yes, he was Percy on VR Troopers.